captain beefheart / don van vliet interview - go van go! / objets de beefheart / this is your captain speaking - may 1986 usa

[not in 'l.a. weekly':] TIDBITS FROM TIBET

how about those kooks in tibet that get high and everybody thinks they're holy? they get high and think they're flying. the 'dalai lama' [a spritual leader] is cute as hell though, and i even like lhasa apsos, those tiny dogs from tibet - little tidbits from tibet. supposedly they used to be real big and they'd stand guard in front of the shrines.

REALLY THE BLUES

amyl nitrate ['poppers'] is what killed the great bass clarinetist eric dolphy, and boris karloff [film actor, best known as 'the monster of frankenstein'] was on blue morphine all along. he had a lot of money and so does ray charles [famous crossover musician]. who the hell would not be a heroin addict once they got on it? you can't quit that stuff. can you stop being on the rockpile? can you defy gravity? i can't. yet i have to eat, drink, think and sleep, and i'm a slave.

THE CAPTAIN'S HIT PARADE

annie ross... annie ross... did i say that? that's such a nice name that i want to enjoy it for a second. she was the hippest singer of all. her mistake was enjoying herself too much. she should've died on the rockpile like she was supposed to. nina simone is very good too. she's a very realistic singer and she's also very angry - and i don't blame her. aren't you angry? i am....

and jimmy reed was good. i love his songs 'better take out some insurance' and 'little rain'. and etta james - miss peaches - is a totally underrated singer. and billie holiday. she's a hell of a lot better than diana ross.

i've been listening to some howlin' wolf and ukelele ike, but i don't listen to music when i paint. it's silent, other than what's going on in my mind. there's music in there that i can't shut off. maybe i don't want to shut it off.

THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD: A DISSENTING VIEW

people believe the bible and all that damp bedsheet crap, but i'm not convinced. i think it was a real thoughtless hot night in the sheets that put me here. the world is pure biology and we're just deluding ourselves with all these spiritual notions. some people are capable of higher emotions but those people aren't very happy. myself for instance, and a few people i've met, just a few chosen people.

and i don't mean to imply, clap-bang-bang-clap, 'i'm really great, shine a badge for me for knowing that'. because regardless of what you do or don't know, the whole thing is fucked. this world's just a fucking rockpile. it's so brutal. it's a puzzle that can never be solved and it wasn't meant to be.

the only way to make peace with it is to get a piece of the rock. the ad-men who came up with the slogan 'piece of the rock' were very intelligent. that's so much farther ahead than the bible! there are some smart blokes on madison avenue. i appreciate good business and consider it correct mathematics.

PERSONAL HYGIENE

elizabeth taylor once said that a little success is the best deodorant. she's pretty cool.

SMOKING AND OTHER MATTERS OF ETIQUETTE

if you ever smoke, smoke cigars like tallulah bankhead. she was hip - a little nasty, though, to show her private parts to men the way she did. why the hell would she do that? she must have enjoyed it, and it's great if she did. and how about jean harlow, the way she was always rubbing her breasts? i loved that.

DOLLARS AND SENSE

it's very expensive to be a friend to someone who speaks the truth. most people are chicken-shit, but to me the truth is like nectar.

DON AND THE DEAD

i like dead people mostly. i mean, after seeing man ray, anyone who wants to call himself an artist had better get busy. and i've seen paintings by van gogh that were no bigger than baby-size that were just outrageous. there's one he did of his postman's daughter called 'baby marcelle', that really knocks me out.

vincent van gagh - painting 'baby
marcelle' =1888

vincent van gogh - painting 'baby marcelle' - 1888
(explaining image)

the last time i was in new york i saw his painting 'starry night' and i looked at it a lot. it's really good. and i like the way franz kline handles space. it's pretty easy to breathe in the universe he paints.

and i like mondrian (aka piet mondriaan - t.t). his paintings are clean and sloppy at the same time. they're pretty sentimental. modigliani, léger and matisse are good too. matisse did this thing called 'rose marble table' - that i really like. god, what are they doing in that painting? i just couldn't get over it when i first saw it.

you know, my wife jan can paint incredibly well but she has no interest in doing it - which i think is real hip. she just doesn't want to put herself through that and would rather read. i wish i felt that way.

[not in 'l.a. weekly':] THE HOLLYRIDGE STRINGS WILL NOW PERFORM 'HELTER SKELTER'

my conception of hell is that crappy third-generation muzak that you hear in grocery stores, or being in line with young children that just want candy.

IT WASN'T MADE TO MATCH YOUR SOFA

painting is a damn good exercise and it really tears me up. i've been in a hot period for twenty-four years now and the people who buy my paintings don't know what they're in for. i may have to do five paintings and scrap them in order to get one that i'm satisfied with. i destroy a lot of my paintings because i don't think it's a good idea to keep things that are bad around - although i know that the world thinks it's a good idea. if my paintings don't disturb me i scrap them, and i hope that when other people see them that the paintings hug them and shake them because people need to be provoked.

MUSIC

as far as my career in music, i think i'm in pretty good stead and that i did what i wanted to do - which is not to say that i'm finished with music. the only thing that stops a composer from thinking about music is: rigor mortis [death stiffness] - and i still compose all the time.

i've been writing some pretty wild stuff too. but i'm definitely finished with the rock star scene - although i never thought of myself as a rock star for a minute.
many people tried to turn me into one but i fooled 'em. i haven't worked with my band for a while so people seem to think that they've split up, but they keep calling me and saying: 'let's ride'. and i tell them...: soon.

i have no idea when i'll get around to making a record, though. for the time being i'm really enjoying painting. getting out of rock 'n' roll improved my life a lot and i'm much more at peace when i'm painting.

you know, i never felt the drive to communicate with any music audience, so why did i do it? that's the slingshot that really tears me up. the entire process was torture. i must admit though, i do love music - i suppose that's kind of corny of me. but really, music is just amazing.

unfortunately, they've slaughtered it as far as i can see, and it seems like it's getting worse. all the dead people are great, though, and hearing cats howl is pretty wonderful too. now thére's the sound of the lovers.

NO APPLAUSE, PLEASE

the music press likes to convey the impression that it reveres me - but they're really revering themselves. they're jerking off and most of them don't have the slightest inkling of what i'm trying to do. can't you see that i could easily crush them!? i'd hate to have to prove that i'm harmless.

i could crush them because my approval would mean something to them, whereas i don't need or want their approval. i've always known you have to ride your own animal life. (laughs...) gee, i sound philosophical. maybe i should start a research centre.